14. The Mysterious Third Thing

Ever been in a dream and realized that you’re dreaming? The lucid dream opportunity has eluded me for many years, but I had it down to a science as a kid. I’d come to the crossroad, a choice between relaxing my mind into a deeper sleep wherein I’d most likely get more rest or running super fast, flying, and telling a cute girl I liked her without the fear of real world consequences save being a little extra tired the next day. The crossroads was the only consistent theme in those dreams for me. Making the decision to either relax or control the dream was split-second. Sometimes if I was too sleepy the dream would continue on with me as an observer, and I’d miss the opportunity to do anything more than read the script that my brain was making for me. Every chance I got, though, I chose less rest. It was always better to explore. 

I’ve been reading instead of writing. Some poetry, some books relevant to current events, some blogs. I’ve been resting, gathering information, and just letting life take me. Maybe it’s what I was supposed to be doing, maybe not. I always think about riptides when I can’t “be productive,” though. If you’re caught in one and you swim straight toward safety, you’ll never make it. You just have to forget about what makes sense and work with the invisible force. I’ve never been caught in a riptide, so that’s probably much easier said than done. My life has taken me toward snow more recently, and deep snow can be like quicksand. Similar vibe. Struggling = more stuck. But you can’t just stay still. You’ll drown or suffocate. 

It seems like with all of these metaphors there’s no right or wrong–I can’t stay still, I can’t struggle, I must do some mysterious third option. That option seems to be “it depends. Just get oxygen.” 

Fortunately most of life isn’t so high-risk even though it feels that way. I wonder if the struggle for control of my dreams made it more difficult to process the natural way life was pulling me. Maybe I stopped being able to lucid dream because I relaxed just a tiny bit. Maybe the mysterious third thing is to understand the environment, study the patterns, and react or plan accordingly. The easiest way to ensure a riptide or deep snow tree well won’t kill you is to prepare yourself to be rescued before you go. But maybe that’s a different topic.